The Native American Headdress and Cultural Appropriation (Small Blog Rant)

I will admit I am a bit frustrated today.

So I came across a video of a musician playing a song. The song was pretty cool and very well done. And I probably would have become a fan if it wasn't for one thing. He has decided to incorporate a costume Plains Native American Headdress as a part of his "brand". He has made the excuse that because it isn't the same as a Ceremonial Headdress that its okay for him to wear and use as a part of his costume.

What he fails to understand is the fact that making a costume out of any sacred item of any culture is extremely disrespectful of that culture. The many people in the Native Community have spoken out against being used as a Mascot, having their regalia and sacred items being turned into a costume, and basically having their entire culture and history being turned into a joke.

I am of Native Descent. My Great Grandmother was half Algonquin on my mothers side, and I know I am of Cherokee on my fathers side. I was raised around Lakota beliefs and culture up until a certain point when life took a different turn.

My point to mentioning my heritage is that I don't go walking around pretending I am some how a representative of all American Indians just because of that little bit. I haven't been a part of the culture now for many years. But yet I have seen people on his page saying "I'm a Native American and I think its cool". When I have taken a closer look at their profiles, its easy to see they are not at all involved in the community or the culture.

I do still pay attention to the struggles they go through. I do still have a great respect for my ancestors of this continent. And I will always stand with those who are fighting to protect their culture and to keep it alive.

All this musician has done is create an excuse all because he doesn't want to be told he is doing something wrong. He has now labeled everyone who is speaking out against him wearing the mock headdress as "Haters". He ignores the fact that creating a mock replica of a sacred item of a culture, or using anything that is a mock replica unique to a culture is cultural appropriation and is disrespectful of the people and their struggles and history.

If he wants to look like some kind of Goth Tribal person, there are ways to look tribal without using anything that is appropriating a culture. Make something up. Get creative. Don't just take from a culture you have no right to take from. A people's culture, a people's way of life, their history, is not something to be turned into a costume or a brand, especially if you are not a part of said culture.

Some people might make an argument saying that telling someone they can't wear the headdress is the same as telling someone who isn't Christian they can't wear a cross. A Culture and a Religion are two different things. You can convert to a Religion, but when it comes to a culture, you are either born into it, or adopted by it by being brought in by others who practice said culture.

If you want to see the video I will post it here along with his >> page << so you can see for yourself.

The Media, The Pagans, and The Bad Journalism

Where do I begin.

So many "news" (and I use that term loosely) media outlets seem to have become guilty of bad journalism. Many spreading misinformation and outright lies that cause fear among the viewers and readers all over. Instead of reporting facts, they just report the opinions of those being interviewed; they no longer do research to inform the public.

One such piece was brought to the attention of a group I am in written by a "Journalist" (again using the term loosely) entitled 'Wiccan Ritual Killing' Leaves Family of Three Dead in Pensacola: Police. While it was the officer Sgt.Hobbes who specifically claimed it to be a "Wiccan" ritual killing, the journalist made no attempt to give plausible other options, nor inform the readers of the facts of Wicca and other Pagan religions.

Instead they only reported what the Officer Sgt.Hobbes commented, and interviewed a neighbor's opinion which continued the claim of it being Wicca and Satanic related.

To inform those who may not know, Wicca is a Duotheistic religion that follows a Harm None law. They follow the belief that what they do to others comes back to them three fold. So someone who is truly following the Wiccan religion wouldn't even attempt such a thing.

Now, I can't say whether the killing was ritualistic or not, I do not know the details of the bodies that were found; aside from two having their heads bashed and throats cut, and the third being shot and having her throat cut. But as many know, there are people everywhere, in every community, who are deranged and will find some form of reasoning for taking someones life, no matter what their religious beliefs are.

Its plausible that yes it could have been a Ritual killing, but done by someone who is deranged and picked up a book on magic or a bible. Rituals aren't solely Pagan, people in Christianity also perform some form of rituals. Cleansing and Blessing homes, Exorcisms, Baptizing Babies/People, leading a sermon/mass. Rituals aren't only about performing a spell, it could simply be to remind ones self of their deity or to bless people.

Not too long ago, there was a dreadful case in which a deranged young man who followed Christianity killed another young man who was in a Rock Band. This is because he believed that the band member was practicing Witchcraft due to their use of a Pentacle as a part of their logo. People who know the young man have made statements that he was also a Christian and had no ties to Witchcraft or any Pagan practices.

I bring this up because people are treating the killer as a deranged person and do not view him as a reflection or representation of the religion he followed. And yet, when it comes to a religious minority, if a case pops up caused by one or a small handful of individuals, they reflect and represent the entirety of that religious community. Blaming a religious minority for the actions of a few individuals is very biased caused by misinformation, ignorance, and lack of understanding of those minorities.

As mentioned in the Article, one of the victims was working for Homeland security. That is a dangerous job on its own, and if he was working in the field, its possible that someone who was being investigated decided to attack him after finding his information, and his family happened to be caught up in the matter. There are other plausible reasons aside from a deranged killer who decided to ritualistically kill a family.

My message to the "News" Media Outlets, it is your job to give the facts, not just the opinions. It is your job to do the research and inform the public, not spread false claims and fear. You have every opportunity to include research and factual information done along with sharing the comments from those being interviewed. News is supposed to be unbiased, it is allowed to share more than one side of what is being reported. I, as a viewer and reader of your News Reports, request and demand that proper Journalism is followed; that facts are reported along with opinions; and that the News remains unbiased and shares both sides.

What it means to live in Harmony with Nature

So many people constantly get the wrong idea when they hear or read the phrase "living harmoniously with nature" or "live in harmony with nature". They think that in order to do such things you HAVE to be vegetarian or vegan, that everything you HAVE to use is vegan and isn't of any animal product or byproduct.

For some reason, people have this idea that Nature is some happy fairytale place where everything lives in happy harmony. Or that, we must put ourselves above our natural instincts in order to better live in harmony with nature. Its this thought about putting ourselves above our instincts and the natural world that has lead us to the issues we have now.

Nature is anything but happy harmony. It is harmonious, but in a chaotic sense. Nature yes is loving, but also very cruel and harsh. Animals kill other animals, mostly for food, but sometimes sport or to just teach their offspring how to kill. Predators are NEEDED for the survival and health of an environment, of an ecosystem. Sometimes they fight, either to take charge and become the leader, or to gain new territories to better serve their pack/family.

If there were no predators, the animals that only eat vegetation would grow in numbers, eating more and more of the grass and other plants. It would become a world barren, with no vegetation what so ever. The earth would wash away due to there not being any roots to hold the soil in place, or be blown away when it hasn't rained and the soil is dry. The planet would become a wasteland with maybe only sea life surviving, and even then there would be issues.

Predators keep the plant eating population low, letting grass and other vegetation to grow back. Predators pick off the sick, which could be carrying an illness that could affect other animals, and the weak, which would allow the strong to pass on their genetics and make the species even stronger. Its like pruning a bush or a tree; you aren't doing it because you want control over it, you are doing it because it is healthy for the plant and makes it stronger.

As I stated in my blog To Be An Earth Warrior, I said that eating meat is a very natural thing to do. As humans, we are omnivores, like some bear species, we eat both vegetation and meat. If someone choose to be vegetarian or vegan that is their decision.

To live in harmony with nature means you have to be a part of nature. This means you also follow the laws of Nature. And the laws of nature are chaotic but necessary. Never take more than you can give, never take more than what is needed, never allow the negative impact on the ecosystem be greater than the positive impact.

If there are predators hunting too well, their numbers increase and the number prey shrink, which then would lead to the predators starving and shrink until the number of prey increases. If there are too many prey or predators, it could lead to the extinction of a or of many species. There is a delicate balance needed in order to keep species alive.

In order for nature to be as beautiful and as wondrous as it is, it must have these chaotic laws. So, if you wish to claim to live in harmony with nature, to be a part of nature, you cannot put yourself above nature and you must follow its laws. Otherwise, you are simply just living in nature.

What is in a Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet" - Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet.

It is true, if we took a rose and gave it a new name it would smell all the same, but names have power, there is a reason we feel we must name things and give our newborn children names. It is so we may protect ourselves and our children for there is a name that holds such power it is dangerous to reveal to anyone else. For every one of us, we typically will have three names (maybe more) in our life times (I am specifically speaking about people who follow some sort of Spiritual path). There are reasons as to why this is the case, it is to protect us, to protect our very essence of being, to protect our souls/spirit. The three names we have in a life are as follows, Our Birth Name, Our Given Name, and Our True Name.

Everyone has the first and the third, we really don't have a choice in the matter, the second one sometimes we don't have a choice and sometimes we do.

Our birth name is obvious, its the one given to us typically at the time of our birth, it is the name we grow up with, it is the name we recognize the moment it is called out, it is a name close to our hearts and spirit. It is a name that both protects us and makes us vulnerable all in one fell swoop. The reason for this is because whether we like it or not we have attachment to the name, so when used in spell work, it is somewhat easy to be targeted when dealing with those who have a tendency to use more negative magicks. But it is also the first shield that is put up to hide our true selves, so in a way, its the barrier given to us with love so we still have our free will.

The second name is our Given Name, usually magick practitioners will choose a name to use in rituals, or sometimes it is given to us by spirit/gods/goddesses. This name can change from time to time depending on how our life changes or sometimes it will stay the same for the entire life. It is a name we identify with and holds power of pure protection, it allows us to work and stay shielded from outside influences. Sometimes when doing a ritual for taking a name, some may weave a spell around the name so no one can use it for harm against the name holder. It is our shield, our mask, our cloaks, it hides and protects us, and envelopes our being so our true name is truly hidden to the outside.

And lastly, there is our third name, our True Name (also known as a Soul Name or a Spirit Name or a Divine Name). This name is everything we were, are, and will become, it is our very essence of being, it is the heart of our souls/spirits. It is a very potent but also very dangerous tool, while it aids in empowering us, if ever heard by another, be it spirit or mortal, it could be used against us. To know your true name is usually found through feeling, it may take time or sometimes you might hear it at random, but what you will feel will tell you that it is you, it is your true name. If said by accident by another typically won't have effects aside from making us feel weird, due to them not focusing any intent on the name. But if someone where to use it against us, they could pretty much do what they want with us and bypass all barriers and shields, because they are attacking straight at the heart of our very being.

The true name never really changes from life to life, if something drastically changes us to such a depth then yes its possible, but otherwise that name will stick with your being till the end of time. If ever found you must guard it with everything you have, never tell it to another even if you think you can trust them, because people are unpredictable and we never know their true intentions or if they can truly keep a secret. If you ever find your life mate/soul mate, one may feel compelled to tell them, but even then use caution, and truly think about it. In the end it is your name and you will choose who you share it with, but you must always be careful. And if you do decide to share it, do it in a way no ears may eavesdrop and no eyes can pry, if you write it down burn it immediately after sharing, leave no physical record of the name.

So in the end, be careful with the names you pick, because if it feels a little too right, it may very well be a name not meant for the ears of others. 

An Observation: Heathen Communities (American vs. Other Countries)

Being someone who has been drawn to the Norse Gods and trying to find a group I can learn from, I've come across an interesting, and sometimes disturbing, mix of people in the Heathen communities. Most of those who I've come across have been pretty great, they don't support racism, they don't focus too much on politics or which version of worshiping the Gods is right. They support each other, and are very open and welcoming. I've found that warmth and welcome both inside and outside of the US.

But, like anywhere else you look, the Heathen communities have their hate filled zealot people as well, more so in the US rather than out. These minority groups in the US are very vocal of racism and nationalism (again, not saying they aren't found anywhere else, I've just seen more here in the US).

I think half of the reason we find this hatred here is because it is the US. We are a melting pot of people, cultures, and heritages, and as I've looked about, while it is an amazing sight to see so many people from so many different backgrounds being able to work together, it has also caused a very negative backlash. The loss of our heritages, our cultures, the memory of our ancestors and where we've come from and who we are. We've become a country with no real culture, the only exception to that is the native indigenous who are working hard to keep their languages, their cultures, alive.

This is just a theory from what I've seen of human nature, but the only reason I can see as to why there is so much of this kind of hatred in the Heathen community, and in other religious/cultural communities, in the US is because of fear. Fear that if they don't cling to their heritage, to their ancestral culture, that they lose any identity they feel they have gained. That somehow, someone who doesn't look like them or believe the same way they do, will take away that identity.

While you still find racism and nationalism in other countries and other communities, they have to be careful about how they say things due to hate speech and discrimination being illegal. While in the US, discrimination isn't fully illegal, and hate speech is being disguised as "Freedom of Speech". Some may be wondering what hate speech entails. Hate Speech is any kind of speech that focuses on a specific group or multiple groups of people/organizations, to insight hatred and violence towards those groups. So, as an example, if Westboro was in the UK, they would be charged for Hate Speech crimes because they are promoting violence, hatred, and discrimination towards others. (Also, those laws in place don't prevent protesting, if you are against something in the UK you are free to protest it, so long as it doesn't promote violence or hatred).

Here in the US, because people want to include hate speech under "Freedom of Speech", Westboro and a number of other racist and nationalist groups can flourish, so long as they don't take any physical action. That's why here in the US we see more vocal minority hate groups in the Heathen communities, and its because they are more vocal we see come across them more often and it makes it look like they are the majority.

Apparently this turned into a slight rant and I do apologize about that. My main point to all of this is that I've found it interesting, but yet not surprising that the Icelandic Asatru Association receives hate mail from groups in the US.

But remember, there are also groups against Hatred and Racism such as Heathens United Against Racism, Heathens Against Hate, and a number of other groups out there.

Finding Your Soulmate and The Pain and Struggle of Distance

Its a raw experience, one that we all think we know till we feel it. Its one that shakes us, breaks us down, washing what we thought we knew about love away. It is a traumatizing and wonderful experience and feeling all at once. Its the person who doesn’t complete you or make you whole, they are an extension, as if you are connected by an unbreakable thread, and you both are on either end. And it feels like that thread wraps around you both, keeping you both together as if it was glue. An unbreakable bond of spirit. They help you become more than you realized you could be.

Finding that person is something we all search for.

My meeting my fiance, us ending up together normally wouldn’t have happened under the circumstances on which we met. Nothing bad, just highly unlikely.

Back in August 2010, I had just moved into my new apartment with my then Boyfriend and a Roommate in Indiana. I hadn’t found work yet, so aside from keeping the place clean and looking for work, I didn’t have much else to do. One day a friend of mine who I went to High School with in Virginia messaged me. He asked if I knew about TeamSpeak and if I would be willing to use it if I didn’t have it on my computer. He was a part of a chat room that was nothing but guys, and he felt they needed a female in the group, and I was the only one he could think of that could keep up (as in with games, science, and their type of humor). 

I had finished everything needed so I said why not and downloaded TS and joined the chat room. There was one guy who I got on pretty well with, but we never swapped information. No finding each other on Facebook, no exchanging emails, nothing. I didn’t know how to use TS so I didn’t book mark the channel, so unless my friend gave me the address for the chat room again, I wouldn’t be able to rejoin. I never got the address. 

A year passed and I had removed TS from my computer. Issues sprang up forcing me, my bf, and our son back down to my home town in Virginia. A week or so later, through a female friend of mine I met John. He was pretty cool and we became really great friends. He and my friend started to date again (long distance dating, since he lives in the UK), they had dated previously but for reasons unknown to me they had broken up. Issues occurred, I broke up with my bf, and she moved in with us. More issues arose and my ex was then kicked out due to him trying to control what was going on in my life outside of our child.

One day my friend asked if I had TS on my computer, told her I used to and that I could get it again. So I did, she wanted to talk with John in a chat room. So once it was set up she and I joined the chat. As we all were talking, I began to think John’s voice sounded really familiar. I then saw his Nickname in the chat and it clicked. I had met him previously before my friend introduced me to John. And I immediately told him, and he remembered, both of us flipping out because what where the chances that happening.

Time passed, I stopped dating for a year to better understand myself and what I was looking for in a partner, my ex had pretty all but stopped talking to me and refused to help out with my son’s expenses, and even said he gave up his parental rights to him. I still remained great friends with John, he had become one of my best friends, helping me keep my head on straight and working through things when I was too upset to figure things out clearly.

My friend eventually moved out. And then there was a lull in my and John’s conversing. We still talked, but not as much. 

Some more time passed and I had started dating again, but was at a point of just giving up finding someone. I messaged John to see how he was doing and he told me my friend was breaking up with him. I was honestly surprised and upset, I thought they were great together, but I knew there were reasons that I didn’t know, so all I could do was comfort John and try my best to keep him cheered up. (I saw how he was when she tried to visit him in England but was denied entry into the country, yeah, wasn’t a pleasant sight to see, he was absolutely miserable).

So because I didn’t want that to happen to him again, I did my best to keep him smiling and happy. About a month or so passed and he was no longer bothered by the break up. We spent hours talking, hanging out on Google, enjoying each others company and just being friends. Then around the beginning of April, a random thought hit me. I thought about what having his last name to mind sounded like. I froze and flipped out. ‘Why would I think that? I can’t! Nonononononononono bad! He is my friends ex! And he lives in a different country, why would I want another long distance relationship? The last one ended in me being a single parent!’. I did my best to force those thoughts of him and I together out of my mind. Didn’t work.

I found out a week later, I wasn’t the only one dealing with those kinds of thoughts. He too was struggling for similar reasons (minus the single parent bit), I’m his ex’s friend, he didn’t want another long distance relationship. It got to a point that we joked a little about it, calling those forbidden thoughts and feelings our Balrogs. That we had accidentally dug too deep with our friendship and released something from the dark depths.

So we did our best to assemble Gandalf and the many armies of Middle Earth to combat our Balrogs. Yeeeeah, it didn’t go so well. The Balrogs grew, his ate middle earth, and mine just skipped merrily through, knocking the armies and Gandalf off to the side as if they were rain drops bouncing off.

We couldn’t fight against them anymore, we had to give in or stop talking altogether, and the latter wasn’t an option, we were too good of friends that stop talking to each other would suck big time.

We admitted to each other we had started developing feelings for each other, so we decided he would come and visit, and we would see if there was anything, but not start a relationship before then, and that we would keep it secret until we knew (thinking, no point in upsetting his ex/my friend or getting anyones hopes up if there wasn’t anything).

Well, exactly how well do any plans like this work out? They usually don’t unless there really isn’t much there to cause the plan to fail. A week later, he had some friends over, and we were all chatting. Chris, sat there watching John and I talk for about 5 minutes, got up walked out. John and I were confused by this. A few minutes later Chris came back in, sat down next to John in front of the computer and looked directly at me. He asked me “Do you fancy John?”, I was shocked by the question and he asked it again. Knowing what John and I had planned, I didn’t know how to answer. I decided to be honest and I said yes, he then turned to John and asked if he fancied me. John also said yes. Chris then just said “there ya go” and sat there satisfied with himself.

Apparently, it had been obvious to everyone else around us, for a reaaaaally long time now, that we had an interest in each other, even when we didn’t know it. When we made it official that we were together, a lot of people responded with “finally”, “its about time”, “I knew it”. 

Ever since then, John and I have gone through ups and downs, ins and outs, but we have come out of all of it stronger. We want to be with each other, we want to be in each others life, and have each other in our life. We have been tested time and again, and still come out of it. Yes we were’t unscathed, and yes some of the tests were very rough on us, but we haven’t given up on each other.

Now we are going through another test, one of time, distance, and willingness to seek help. We have been together for almost 2 years, and known each other for almost 4 years. We are engaged and haven’t seen each other for a year now. He is a wonderful man, and very loving to both me and my son, and my son loves him and has even started to call him Daddy. We are having problems financially and need help to get the money so we can get the visas needed for my son and myself. John can afford the plane tickets, he can afford to support us, and he can afford our wedding. But because of health issues, being betrayed, and now the up most need to move due to the house falling apart, he has had to use the money he had saved up.

So we have to ask for help, even if its just 5 an nothing more, that is more than helpful. Little amounts build up. Please, help our family be reunited. Donate, share/reblog, or both. Any help at all is greatly appreciated by the both of us. We really do not want to have to spend any more time apart from each other.

Many thanks and Blessings to you

GoFundMe to be Rejoined with my Fiance

Phantom Wounds: When the Past Bleeds Through to the Present

This, I have never talked about with a lot of people except some of my closest friends. Phantom wounds. We all probably have heard about the Phantom limbs experience, either if you are an amputee yet you still feel as if the limb is still there, or if you are one who identifies as Otherkin, then you might feel as if you have ears, tail, wings, etc.

Something I haven't really seen talked discussed about is Phantom wounds. Wounds either inflicted spiritually or that were experienced in a past life that seem to crop up again in the present life, yet there are no physical signs or placements of where those wounds are/were. I experience two different Phantom wounds, from what I can guess are two different past lives because I have not experienced any spiritually inflicted wounds (at least not to my knowledge).

The first one, and longest one I've experienced, even since I was a child, was a pain in my chest. One that isn't for cause of worry (had it checked before). Anytime I start to feel it, it feels like I have a pole sticking out of my chest. Well, if you have read my blog about remembering past lives, you know in the one I spoke about I died due to taking a spear to the chest.

The other one, I don't know the origins of just yet, but with it acting up recently I have a feeling I will. This one is only as I can describe as a slash to the face. Going diagonally from the middle of my forehead, over my right eye, and stopping just at the cheek.

I've felt this wound a few times but it had never caused any kind of discomfort or pain like the first one has. Today, it has done just that. It started up out of nowhere, a searing pain down my face and over my eye. It even caused that eye to blur for a while, but now it has just turned to a dull ache. It feels almost as if I had recently been injured.

I can think I will be gaining memories of the life in which I experienced receiving this wound, its the only reason I can come up with as to why it would start acting up like it has.

And for those who may never have experienced phantom wounds before, it feels like any other pain. I have bad knees, and there are day when I can't walk very well because of the pain they cause. These phantom wounds feel just as physical as these physical injuries I am dealing with from my teen years. They cause pain, and I actually feel it. They happen at random and I never know when I will feel them.

A New Age for the Old Ways: My views on the term New Age

New Age, a term that is either loved or disliked for a multitude of reasons in the spiritual communities. A lot of the time there is a difference pointed out between someone who is New Age and someone who is Pagan. Typically a lot of New Age shops hold a lot of expensive items, even some items you could find elsewhere for a lot less money, and almost all of the items are machine made. While in Metaphysical Shops, prices will be more appropriate for the items worth, and you may come across many more hand-crafted items.

There have even been differences pointed out between New Age and Paganism, such as someone who is New Age won't really care much for the history of things, they are more focused on the new spiritual trend. While with Pagans, they are focused on the spiritual aspects of their beliefs, they care about the history, and truly delve into things.

And finally, much of the dislike is due to how the term sounds in comparison to the religions/spiritual paths. Many of these religions go back thousands of years, so hearing someone call it New Age upsets them because the religion is anything but new.

While I can fully understand this and agree with a lot of the sentiments for the face meaning of the term, I am also focusing on more of the deeper meaning behind it.

New Age; a new time, a new era, its really not trying to say that the religions and spirituality is new, but more, it is a new time to practice these old beliefs. A New Age for the Old Ways. And what many people forget is that, while yes, the religions and spirituality have roots that go back hundreds to thousands of years, time changes things.

I am very much a big supporter of reaching back to our roots, because without our past, we don't have a future. We should yes try to reconstruct as much as possible of the ancient beliefs, but we also must keep in mind that what we are practicing will never be exactly as how it was practiced in the past. So in a sense, there is still a newness to the practices because they are being revived after much of the practices being lost for so long.

Time moves forward, it doesn't go back, things will never be the same as they once were because anything that doesn't change dies. Beliefs are like water, as long as its flowing there is always fresh oxygen, there is a constant renewal and it stays clean and alive, but when water becomes stagnant, very little life can come about. There is no renewal, no way to clean it and remove any of the debris that has gathered, and eventually barely anything is alive in it.

So in a way it is a New Age, a New Age for reconnecting to our roots,  a New Age to reconnect with the Universal energies, a New Age for the Old Ways to live once again.

When the Past is Remembered

Because it is February, and in the Northern Hemisphere this is a time of awakening in the earth, I feel called to write about another type of awakening.

I'm a big believer in past lives, always have been, but even more so now. And I'm one who has always been curious about what my past lives were, but I've never gone through past life regression nor have I tried to on my own.

I only remember three past lives, and they all popped up on their own, or had been triggered. The most significant was the second life I remembered, because it is also of a life I shared with my husband, and he was even the one who triggered it.

It began when he and I were having a chat and he suddenly stopped and had somewhat of a confused yet questioning look on his face. I had asked what was up and he said a random name popped up in his mind and asked me if the name meant something to me. The moment he spoke the name, instantly I began to hear the sounds of men screaming, clashing of metal, and that name being shouted just loud enough to be heard over the sounds of battle. A day passed and that was all I heard mixed in with every day noise.

It was after that that the visual memories came forward, I remember rushing, fighting, doing my best not to get hit by any of the weapons I faced. And then hearing the name once more, but closer and more panicked, causing me to turn around, a second later struck in the chest by a spear. The pain was immense and I immediately dropped to the ground. I remember my vision starting to fade and sounds becoming more of a faint echo and hallowed.

I remembered the last moments of my life in that time period (couldn't tell you when exactly nor what kind of life I lead before my death). I can definitely say it isn't pleasant remembering such a thing, but it also was a very interesting experience, that, was repeated again with the third set of memories (not getting into that one).

It took some time, and reassuring things, for me to learn and accept it wasn't just my imagination going wild or anything. (You know how it is, you experience something, and immediately question whether it was legit or not). After my husband spoke about some of the things he remembered (which he was the one calling my name), before I told him what I remembered, reassured me that yes it wasn't my imagination.

I have never pushed to remember anything else, because for me, I have come to accept I will remember what I am supposed to remember. There is specific information, knowledge, or wisdom I am to gain from those memories, so I know I won't remember anything that will not help me in this life.

One thing I will say is that I have come to learn the difference between what is my imagination, and what isn't. For me, I can still control what happens in my imagination, basically, lucid daydreaming. When it isn't my imagination, I cannot control anything, everything happens on its own, like a vision. And its that difference that allows me to know when I'm actually remembering something or having some form of vision, or spiritually traveling.

And learning this, having these memories, has helped me move forward in my path and I have learned to better trust my abilities. Every experience we have helps us grow, and helps us awaken in our spiritual path.

The Call of Home

Deep within my blood my ancestors flow, as yours do within your blood. They are in our very DNA, they are our physical history, our very origins, our beginnings. There is a memory in our bodies, whether a physical or a spiritual one, those memories are there.

I have ancestors and heritage from the North American continent, the European Continent, and the British Isles. I even grew up with Lakota (a North American Indigenous people) traditions up until I was 12. But unlike my mother, my NA Indigenous roots are not what calls to me. I do love the traditional music, the way of life, the deep love for their traditions, but they are not the ones who speak to me.

Instead, my ancestors who's descendants came across the ocean, who traveled 3,000 miles to come to this continent, are calling me home. The traditional folk music of the British Isles and European countries speak to me, I yearn for the old ways of life of the people there, the land itself calls to me and are familiar to me, yet I have yet to take a single step on those lands.

I even found love there, a wonderful man who, even though we aren't legally married, I call my husband, and he calls me his wife. It was an unexpected and unsought love. Whats even more, he is one I have shared many past lives with, for it wasn't until he and I came together, that memories started to crop up. I know him as I know the land, the memories of him and my home are seeded deep within my spirit.

Ever since I was 10 and had visited Seoul, SK that I knew I would never settle here. I always knew I would find my family, I would find my true home, and I would find my true place of belonging. As I got older and graduated High School, I gave up on that knowing, thinking it would never happen, especially after becoming a mother.

I had broken up with my child's biological father, which had started out as a long distance relationship. The last thing I wanted after that was another long distance relationship, so I focused on those who were closer to me. I even considered moving to Canada if I could find a way to afford it, but to be honest I didn't have too much hope in doing so.

And then the universe decided to step in and has lead me to where I am now. I will be reunited with my husband, I will be returning home, and I will be with my family, and even more, my son is coming with me. I plan on making sure he has the option to be able to live in either country, for I feel it is the best thing I can do for him when he reaches the age of 18, so he isn't left with so little options. If his ancestors from this continent speak to him, and call him back, then he will be able to return.

We all have our calling, we all have the place to be, the path to follow, and the experiences to have. The universe has shown me, if it is to happen, it will, but you must be willing to take the steps forward when the way is presented to you, otherwise you will miss it.

I was lucky enough to have a second encounter in meeting my husband, had he and I not exchanged contact information, and kept in contact, I probably wouldn't be on the way I am now. I wouldn't have my loving Soulmate, I wouldn't be able to return home, and I wouldn't have my family.

When you feel that call, when you feel that undeniable pull, don't fight it, follow it. There may be trials and struggles and tests along that path, but as we know, the right path is never easy.